Garbage-laden streets, endless strip malls: the epic New York-LA rivalry

The 2024 World Series has been a thrilling contest between baseball’s two best teams, the Dodgers and the Yankees. It’s also a welcome excuse for the cities of New York and Los Angeles to talk about themselves, a special little treat that neither municipality takes for granted.

There’s nothing New Yorkers and Angelenos love more than a bit of civic onanism. “You gotta try our bagels,” you might hear walking the garbage-laden streets of Manhattan. “Strip mall sushi” is something those of us blessed to live in Los Angeles are legally obligated to say to anyone asking for a recommendation of any kind. For those who haven’t had this screamed at them at the Delta terminal at LAX, this means the best sushi restaurants are in strip malls. What we don’t tell you is that’s because in LA, everything is in a strip mall.

New York v Los Angeles is a rivalry that confounds most of the rest of the world and makes San Francisco say: “Aren’t you forgetting someone?” The two mightiest centers of culture in the United States are perpetually locked in mortal combat over power, influence and which city gets to host the MTV Video Music Awards, among other things. Sports gives us a tidy, bloodless way to decide which city is better while also drinking a lot of beer, which is as American as it gets. The Yankees, like the city itself, represent tradition, broad-shouldered swagger, and a sprinkle of corruption for taste. The Dodgers, like countless great Angelenos, used to live in New York.

This is why, as the World Series shifts to Yankee Stadium, I can say without a doubt that this series will decide once and for all which metropolis is superior. No other method for adjudicating this never-ending row will do. Publications like New York Magazine might make a big deal out of this conflict every so often, but they have done nothing to actually settle the matter. A New York-based writer will come to LA once a year to marvel at the health food store Erewhon and say: “How is it even possible to live like this, with all the smoothies and protein shakes and six-pack abs?” Then, they go home and talk about their trip like they just returned from a remote village where they eat processed dung patties and don’t have TikTok.

The reason our society can’t decide which city is better is because it’s actually a much closer race than anyone wants to admit. Ask a New Yorker about their home and they’ll say it’s the “greatest city in the world”. Ask an Angeleno and they’ll say it’s “got free parking on Sundays”. I’d say this is as even as it gets. In so many ways, LA and NYC are equals in esteem and significance. Both cities are known for world-class art museums, operas and architectural landmarks like Griffith Observatory and the Times Square M&M Store.

As often as New York and LA dig up this argument, it’s nearly impossible to definitively declare a winner without baseball to solve it. Pick any category in which one might judge a city and there are pros and cons for both. New York has pizza. Los Angeles has everything that’s not pizza. Los Angeles has spectacular weather. New York has a place to get batteries, a Gatorade and lottery tickets at 3am. Los Angeles has In-N-Out Burger. New York has that Chinese restaurant with a photo of Ed Koch by the bathroom. New York has Madison Square Garden. Los Angeles has Crypto.com Arena. New York has cocaine. Los Angeles also has cocaine.

If pressed to pick a side, I struggle mightily to choose. When I visit New York, I love the convenience of taking the subway instead of sitting in traffic. When I’m behind the wheel of my private, climate-controlled automobile, I have to give the road my full attention. Amid the ever-present snarl of traffic, I can leave whenever I want, but I can’t arrive at my destination when I want. With the subway, I don’t have to be bothered with traffic or needing to focus on driving. I can watch all my Instagram Stories and online shop at the same time. In LA, I hardly have the time to keep up with people I’ve never met and buy a vintage Star Trek windbreaker. Thanks a lot, traffic!

Of course, I won’t deny that there are perks to driving in LA. Woody Allen once said that Los Angeles’s “greatest cultural advantage is you can make a right turn on a red light”. Believe it or not, you can do that anywhere now, and have been able to for decades. Allen might have been overstating the significance of the red-light right turn, but no one can deny that LA invented the driving maneuver that caused my most terrifying car accident. The city’s resident philosopher might be the songwriter Randy Newman, who wrote the now legendary Angeleno anthem I Love LA, which plays after every Dodger and Laker home victory. The song, which ironically praises Los Angeles’s stunning topography while reminding you of its grotesque class divide, is the satirical anthem that defines a place that lives and breathes on irony.

No matter who wins the World Series this year, we can all agree that both New York and Los Angeles will continue to lead the country in hyperbole per capita, hubris and overpriced condos. We have more in common than we have differences. NYC and LA are magnets for creativity, ambition and trust funds. A large portion of both cities wishes they were in the other city (or Paris) at various points throughout the year. These are cities where transplants either won’t tell you where they’re actually from or won’t shut up about it (I’m looking at you, “Person from Suburban Iowa That Loves the Chicago Bulls”). New York and LA are two different sides of the same shiny coin – one gritty and pessimistic, the other ironic and cheerful. When this series is over, we can all finally put the eternal battle to bed. One city will rejoice and the other will say “at least I’m not in San Francisco”.